The ER is a place for romance. A reflection by MSIH fourth-year student Daniel Iluz
What a weird statement, Huh?
These upcoming months are the months preceding my own wedding. I guess, in some instinctive way, it makes me more sensitive to the nuances and gestures between couples. The ER is a place where these gestures are intensified and get a greater meaning compared to their mundane daily routine.
Think about it… how much power and hope one can gain in dire straits just by hearing from his loved one: “No matter what will happen. I’m here for you. I love you.“. These kisses on the forehead, the hand or just being tucked in. It happens almost in absolute silence, in their own dimension. In their own domain.
A few days ago, it was a couple who got married only 2 years ago and the wife came into the ER because she went into a seizure episode after being in a hypercoagulable state due to IVF treatments. Maybe it is just my own interpretation, but I could feel/see in the husband’s eyes that he is so grateful for having her as his wife. For all the obstacles and barriers, they had to go through together in the past year in order to bring a healthy baby boy to this world. All these mutual goals, feelings and challenges are now drained into a very intense and “romantic” moment. All he could do at this point was to hesitantly whisper in her postictal ears: “I love you. We will overcome it together. Like we always did”.
Yesterday, there was another couple. An older one this time. She had a COPD exacerbation which in our language was “very impressive” and in their language was terrifying. We took her to the resuscitation unit, knowing that soon she may be progressing into heart failure. We closed the curtains. However, on the other side, I could still see those same eyes. The same eyes I saw just a few days ago. Her husband’s eyes. I saw true care. True worry. After we stabilized her, we let him in. He started caressing her tenderly and kissed her hand. I found myself wandering in my thoughts… After all these years, what a beautiful, intertwined love story.
Today, on my way back to our apartment, in a weird coincidence Nofari (my fiancé) shared a song with me. It is called אתה הולך איתי (Walk with me by Akiva):
Come close and comfort me
Give me another sign that everything will be good
and you will embrace me
No matter how, no matter where
Let us be close,
And walk with me.
The ER is a place for romance.